Tuesday, January 31, 2006
12:16 PM
actualli, im feeling so vexed these few days over all the stuffs in the world. pearly is rite. i always like to take things upon miself. ba suo you de shi dou kang zai zi ji sheng shang. zi zuo zi shou. dunno since when there is a complicated expression on mi face. but, tat complicated expression will disappear when ppl surround mi. muz i always like tat? always like to fake expressions. when mi miself is feeling so vexed, yet i'll pretend to be so carefree. in front of ppl, i will pretend tat all the problems and questions in mi head do not exist. yong yuan dou na me ai cheng qiang. soo weak. felt tat im always a run-away soldier. tao bing. onli know how to make up 101 excuses for miself. i hate this.
dunno since when, tears stopped streaming down and i started to say things tat i don mean.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
9:52 AM
went back to Zhonghua ytd. brought back lotsa memories. the place behind the hall where i spent mi sec 2 after sch days. pb room. the canteen stalls. esp the route from canteen to 4e6. rmbed who i was back in the past. pearly said im not as bubbly and cheerful as before le. i do agree. i rmbed wads on mi mind back in the past in 4e6. how i used to think and act. mi courage, determination, strength and fighting spirit. but i guessed i cant be back to who i was in sec 4 again. not when i lost all the 4 elements tat i mentioned above.
but, talked to one of the teachers. but she didnt teach mi b4, in fact, i don think ive ever spoke a lot to her back in zh too. but she actualli rmbed mi. becoz......
Thursday, January 26, 2006
8:00 PM
i always rmb things in mi subconscious mind- when im in the state of falling aslp. then it occurred to mi tat, there are some people whom i miss a lot. realli a lot. i still rmb the first time i met them. arnd one yr ago. the warmness. never feeling out of place. tats the feeling i need, i yearn for. but maybe, i wont ever see them again.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
6:40 PM
it struck mi hard when sherlin mentioned one of the effects of throw-away culture: ppl don work out a relationship and juz simply go off, trying to find a better one.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
10:00 PM
too mani speculations. itz a guessing game. i wish i can stop guessing anymore. i wish i had the courage to speak to u. i wish i knew..
Saturday, January 21, 2006
8:33 PM
early morning at 6.30 hopped on the train heading for dover.
already not enough slp, trying mi get into the most comfortable position to slp.
all was fine till one big-sized man sat down.
he tried to slp too, but his arms was touching mine.
"HELLO??YOU INVADED M PERSONAL SPACE??
i tried to move away.
then he tot he had more space and slpt more comfortably,occupying the space i had left for mi personal space.
...
purposely nudged him hard, pretending it was on accident.
he continued slping.
thankfully next stop is raffles place, if not i would have screamed "STUPID MAN" in front of him directly.
or i would have pretended i was slping too deeply tat i started singing as mi 'meng hua' and scare him away.
BOO.
mi tolerance level is extremely low when i don have enough slp.
then on the train to dover, in between 2 men. one chinese one indian.
all was fine when i began to fall aslp.
the chinese man started to fidget arnd, keep waking mi up each time.
I WANTED TO FAKE SINGING AS MENG HUA AND SCARE HIM AWAY SO TAT I CAN SLP IN PEACE.
come to think about it im quite self-centered esp when i don have enough slp.
i tried an act-cool pose to shift mi arms away.
finalli im not affected by his figeting.
but as he get off the train he still woke mi up with his fidgeting somemore.
i dunno how he managed to do so. muz be a pro in it.
MAYBE NEXT TIME I'LL TRY SINGING TO SCARE THOSE WHO IRRITATED MI AWAY.
BOO.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
8:03 PM
as u can see..im reflecting these few days when ive moodswing..n not exactly reflecting purposely too..becoz when im semi-conscious i begin to rmb lotsa stuffs which i dunno y..ytd i talked to ben tan..today i saw yee yan(oh..i saw yee haun on sat too)..then i rmbed the last few days i tot of zhonghua..then realised..i cant rmb a lot of exact details abt it..then i tot of the sentence..MEMORIES MAY FADE AWAY, BUT LOVE WILL ALWAYS REMAIN..BECOZ ITZ IN THE HEART..yep..memories may fade away..but mi love for zhonghua will always remain the same..no matter wad the situation of sc is like..hmmm..nono..i don realli have a strong bond to sc..pb..yes..love will always be there..n it mite be growing stronger without mi knowing..to mi clique..mi frenz..(tat reminds mi again..zhu tou who made mi laugh like mad juz now..)..i love u guyz too..okok..mi hair is standing..but realli..i do..:)..thanks for making mi day..mi life..:)
then i came across someone's frenster..i was reminded of wad happened..actualli..i didnt forget abt it at all..itz always in mi mind..i dreamt abt it sometimes..the feeling sharks..i think it will remain as a scar in mi memories..for life..
8:37 AM
local or overseas uni?
mani tots have been running thru mi mind recently..u see..ive always wanted to get into a local uni..partly coz i think tat im too attached to all mi frenz here..but recently..tots have been running thru mi mind if i shld go to overseas uni..the more i think of it..the bleaker mi future seems..if i were to pursue a degree of media in spore....i cant imagine how things will be like..spore's freedom of speech is ranked 140th upon 160th if im not wrong..when they say tat spore has a freedom of speech..itz actualli juz on the surface..we self-censorship too much..far too much tat often we r not giving accurate info to the public..this is called lying..misleading the public to mi..i mean..hey..wad u r saying will affect the life of the public..how can lie to them?media influences are powerful okie..realli powerful..wad we are today are partly due to media influences....if i were to pursue media..overseas wld probably be a better choice..
but the thing is..if i go to overseas uni..when will i come back to spore?or shld the question be..will i ever come back to spore?
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
8:32 PM
ivp.
30%.
SCREWED.
nw.
20%.
LABELLED PART A AND PART B WRONGLY.
WROTE "UNBIASED" WITHOUT THINKING IF THERES THIS WORD.
FEEL LIKE SLAPPING MISELF.
practically 6 day sch wk.
4 days wake up at 6.
6 hrs of slp each on those days
SERVE MI RIGHT FOR WATCHING TV.
RESULTS DROPPING.
UNI DRIFTING FURTHER AWAY.
sharks.
WELCOME TO MI LIFE.
and i say.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
8:56 AM
i used to think that i'll die of laughter someday. now i think that i'll probably die of fatigue.
Monday, January 16, 2006
7:36 PM
let mi be ur light, and u'll be mi direction, itz a deal! i wanna be the one who can make u show ur true self, say wad u really mean. the shape of happiness!!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
9:59 AM
freaking busy these few wks. never-ending tests and projs coming up. fri was idea presentation. ytd, a saturday, was dvpa directing ca. but i shant complain tat the ca is on a wkend since i had no sch on thurs. :) this week: monday i end late due to claire ng's lesson; tues is nw test and ivp presentation; wed is ipra excursion but it has smth to do with another proj; fri i end late as usual unless i don go for claire ng's lesson; sat have to go back to sch again for the storyfest thing which rajan happily volunteered us as helpers. today meeting up with li yun and zoe to shop for new year clothes, which so far i had onli bought a skirt. sorrie to everyone whom i cant meet up with recently, tat includes pearly and izyana. i think the earliest time i can meet u all is probably new yr when we go back to zhonghua?:X. lost track of time, sometimes i dunno wad date and day it is. too busy laaaa. wads in mi life now are: a little of maple, a few doses of tests, mani mani projs, and an equally much of drama serials on youtube. devil beside u is nice, kinda like meteor garden, but im sure it started with a kiss will be even nicer. the song already made mi smile so much. :) too sweet. :P all at standard timing each and every day. hahaz. :P
itz been a week, and the dream still makes mi smile. HEES!!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
10:28 AM
had a fantastic dream!!hees!!im still smiling away!!tat shall make mi smile for the rest of the day!!and maybe tml too!!:P
Sunday, January 08, 2006
8:25 PM
i wan to live mi own life. i don wan to lose miself again. i wan to be sharon lim. and onli sharon lim. becoz tats mi. and to the person who thinks tat daoing mi can help solve everything, the tot is so wrong. but too bad. itz okie. i juz wanna lead mi life. and not the life of others. i don wan to lose miself AGAIN.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
7:50 PM
juz had a hair cut. felt tat it has shortened by soooooo much. goodbye mi longest hair in mi entire lifetime. maybe i'll have u back again soon. :) i miss mi long straight hair already. no more french plaiting for the time being. :( though i do agree tat long straight hair is nicer, but i think shorter hair suits mi better. don say im girly. it irks mi. alrite mi hair isnt very short now. maybe a little more than shoulder length. still tats a great difference from waist length hair. mi waves start popping back now. mi straightening is going to be gone. $50 for nearly 14 mths of straight hair. itz so worth it. :) but i miss straight-easy-to-maintain hair. but still, now im going to enjoy mi a bit wavy hair. im thinking of highlighting. shld i? $50 after new year. at salon. good deal huh? :P oh and for the first time i didnt ask for super short fringe in tat salon.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
6:28 PM
juz knew smth..hmm..even when all i need may be juz a miracle..i still wont give up, i guess. yep i feel tat im stupid..i almost lose mi strength and courage.but sharon lim juz wont give up easily. she wont admit defeat easily. tats juz so mi. but everytime when i make a decision, there will always be smth tat make mi switch sides. so, wads next?
10:41 AM
a brand new year. a brand new start. this year, im going to start all over again. fight for wad i wan, try and try and never say die. i wont let old defeats get mi down. becoz i know, failure cant be never-ending and i will reach mi destination eventually. i know this year there will be obstacles, but i will fight all, and try again and again. im not going to give up on anything tat i wan. when the time is right, i will fight and fight, try and try once again. tat is the onli way i can get wad i wan. tats the onli way i wont lose valuable things. ROAR!! becoz im Sharon Lim. The One who will never admit to failure and defeats. NEVER.
